Politics. Many can't live with it, most better off without it. By definition politics is the art of science of government or governing. However, very little of that is seen in America today. The political discourse and heated rhetoric in this nation has reached a fervor pitch. The noise volume of today is so loud that if we continue on the present course,it will become necessary to have hearing aid distribution written into the national healthcare bill.

We are attempting to exist in a world vulnerable to nuclear holocaust, possible annihilation from natural and man-made disasters, life-destroying pestilences, lack of morality, wickedness, evil, and extreme violence. The average person with a modicum of intelligence would easily conclude that because of these things, we need the strongest people available to lead the United States of America. Not an "accidental" celebrity whose brain is devoid critical thinking, reasoning, and decision-making skills.

John McCain really should be spending time in a "prison-for-aging-deceivers." In an attempt to capitalize on the disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters who didn't support then Senator Barack Obama, McCain went to Alaska, partially vetted the Governor of the state, and brought her back to the lower 48 in a desperate attempt to finally win the presidency. Only, it didn't work.  Old Miss don't-read-a-paper-or-know-a-supreme-court-case, fumbled, bumbled, and winked her way into international ridicule, thus helping Father Time McCain lose by a larger margin than expected. A complete electoral slaughter.

A year later, Miss "quit-the-governorship" because I love the state of  Alaska so much, embarked upon a tour for a book of total fiction that she didn't write herself, joined Fox News as a commentator who doesn't know what the heck she's commenting on, traveling the country and raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars from brainless puppets who view her as "one of them," not knowing that she's being used as a tool to rally the faithful but not being taken serious as a presidential contender by members of her own.

Imagine, if you will, Mrs. Palin in negotiations with the Despot of Iran. Can you hear his laughter and see the look of bewilderment on his face? How about the brutal Tyrant of North Korea? The scary guy from Russia? Go on. Can you see her effectively dealing with these mean, evil, diabolic figures? They would rip out her eyes before being swayed by her winks.

John McCain unleashed this lab experiment gone bad on an unsuspecting nation and now, we need to figure out how to de-program it. This woman really believes that she is relevant and politically strong enough to make decisions regarding the lives of you and I. NOT! When Gomer Pyle entered into a love affair with the dingbat Edith Bunker, their bundle of joy that resulted is Sarah Palin. Oh, and by the way the name Sarah means Princess. Cool. We can now just refer to her as Princess Poop. That's what comes out of her mouth every time she opens it.

Ah, the American conservative.  Also known as your garden-variety asshole, stupidity and shortsightedness have rarely commingled in such a frightening, destructive fashion as seen displayed by your average Republican dickhead.  The funny thing is, it turns out your typical "conservative" isn't really all that "conservative," at all.

Typically, those aligning themselves with the conservative wing of American politics are more like ignorant, violent dipshits, as opposed to the high-N-mighty voice of moral reason, embodiment of personal restraint, and law-N-order slash National Security bastions of awesome these retards would like you to believe they truly are.  But they're not.

According to Conservapedia (yes, that actually exists), "A conservative adheres to principles of limited government, personal responsibility and moral values, agreeing with George Washington's Farewell Address that 'religion and morality are indispensable supports' to political prosperity."  Moreover, "The sine qua non of a conservative is someone who rises above his personal self-interest and promotes moral and economic values beneficial to all, rather than to themselves as liberals promote. Alternatively, a conservative is willing to learn and advocate the insights of economics and the morality of the Bible for the benefit of all as is well known the Bible is the ultimate standard in logic."

Now that you're done laughing your ass off, let's move on.

Despite what Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh would have you believe, most "conservatives," historically and in the present timeframe, almost always support and further that which they continually and vitriolically decry.  See, these assholes have mastered the art of lying.  Mastering the craft of using emotionally divisive rhetoric and  feel-good platitudes to hoodwink the great unwashed masses is as endemic to the mindset of your Salem Witch Hunt mob as it is to the G. Gordon Liddys and the Michelle Bachmans of the world.

The truth of the matter is, most conservatives are big, big fans of controlling what you think, controlling how you live your life, and dictating the absolutes of right and wrong - while getting you to pay for it, dearly, through high taxes and corporation-imposed artificial inflation enforced by a tyrannical central government authority.

The weak federal authority, Don't Tread on Me, Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death, inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness people?  Yeah, those are actually liberals who really believe that shit.  A conservative bullshitting about "preserving your freedoms" blah, blah, blah, is sort of like a rapist telling you that the massive rectal trauma he's inflicting on you actually feels good, while he's raping your asshole.  Now, you just lie there and take it and let Carl Rove finish "his business."

In the interest of exposing these lying assholes for the hypocrites that they really are, I give you:

The Six Darlings of
"Conservatism" in America:

Fucking Liar #1: J. Edgar Hoover.
Backstory [via: Wikipedia]: "Hoover is credited with building the FBI into a large and efficient crime-fighting agency, and with instituting a number of modern innovations to police technology, such as a centralized fingerprint file and forensic laboratories."
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: Your standard Law-N-Order conservative, Hoover gives the narrow-minded and the repressed spooky sexual dreams to this day.  Nothing gives a Republican a raging hard-on faster than draconian enforcement of anachronistic laws, unless we're talking about inflicting sadistic punishments for violating said laws.  If the RNC had their (secret, shameful) way, public flagellation and state-sponsored sexual torture would still be the order of the day.
The Reality: Essentially the father of the American Gestapo, Hoover is pretty much the antitheses of conservatism.  A high-minded, authoritarian bureaucrat hell-bent on imposing his beliefs and superstitions on a cowering populace under the guise of Orwelian Federal authority.
The Result: John Walsh's (America's Most Wanted) entire career.  Brainwashing the public into accepting the extant Police State through the airing of the TV show "COPS."
Recommended Redefinition:  The GOP's very own Heinrich Himmler.  Also, a creepy weirdo who liked to take it in the ass while wearing a dress as he systematically persecuted homosexuals.  See, repression and unhealthy views on sexuality are essential to the conservative mindset.  You just know Glen Beck enjoys homoerotic fantasies while he masturbates in the shower every morning.

He just looks like an asshole.

Fucking Liar #2: Joseph McCarthy.
Backstory [via: Wikipedia]: "An American politician who served as a Republican U.S. Senator from the state of Wisconsin from 1947 until his death in 1957. Beginning in 1950, McCarthy became the most visible public face of a period in which Cold War tensions fueled fears of widespread Communist subversion.[1] He was noted for making claims that there were large numbers of Communists and Soviet spies and sympathizers inside the United States federal government and elsewhere. Ultimately, McCarthy's tactics and his inability to substantiate his claims led him to be censured by the United States Senate. The term McCarthyism, coined in 1950 in reference to McCarthy's practices, was soon applied to similar anti-communist pursuits. Today the term is used more generally to describe demagogic, reckless, and unsubstantiated accusations, as well as public attacks on the character or patriotism of political opponents."
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: Hey, man.  We're fighting commies, here.  You can't get more conservative than that, right?  Never mind the fact that he embodied everything a "conservative" is supposed to despise.  Just imagine if Truman had tried to reform the American health care system.  Wow, man.
The Reality: Again, here we have one of the most powerful people in the U.S. Government using fear - the fear of Socialist, Marxist Commies (sound familiar?) - to impose his School-Teacher-From-The-Wall-esque domination over every American's thoughts and beliefs.
The Result: I think this says it all:  "Everything you think you know about McCarthy is a hegemonic lie. Liberals denounced McCarthy because they were afraid of getting caught, so they fought back like animals to hide their own collaboration with a regime as evil as the Nazis."  -Ann Coulter.  You should be noticing a pattern, by now.  So much for freedoms and Not Treading on Me.
Recommended Redefinition:  Fat, rich, angry, drunk white man imposing his beliefs on everyone else through a heavy-handed, just-making-shit-up campaign of terror and demagoguery.  What a dick.

Smug?  Fat?  Evil?
Yep.  He's a conservative.

Fucking Liar #3: Richard Nixon.
Backstory: You know, the guy who tried to railroad the electoral process, amassed an (actual - this one really existed) "Enemies List" (that is, Enemies of The State), and basically subverted the constitution, existing a hair's breadth from becoming an usurping dictator.
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: "No other American has held office in the executive branch of the federal government as long as Richard Nixon did.[213] He is the only person in American history to appear on the Republican Party's presidential ticket five times, to secure the Republican nomination for president three times, and to have been elected twice to both the vice presidency and the presidency. With Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush, Richard Nixon was the chief builder of the modern Republican party. From 1952 to 1992, at least one of these three men appeared on the Republican ticket for nine of the eleven presidential elections in those 40 years.  Throughout his career, he was instrumental in moving the party away from the control of isolationists and as a Congressman was a persuasive advocate of containing Soviet Communism."  [wiki]
The Reality: "Under Nixon, direct payments from the federal government to individual American citizens in government benefits (including Social Security and Medicare) rose from 6.3% of the Gross National Product (GNP) to 8.9%. Food aid and public assistance also rose, beginning at $6.6 billion and escalating to $9.1 billion. Defense spending decreased from 9.1% to 5.8% of the GNP. The revenue sharing program pioneered by Nixon delivered $80 billion to individual states and municipalities [Wiki]."  What's more:  "despite speeches declaring an opposition to the idea, he decided to offer Congress a budget with deficit spending to reduce unemployment and declared, 'Now I am a Keynesian.'" [Wiki]
The Result: The obsessive, rather disturbing need for every conservative on the planet to attack everyone within earshot, calling them "Tax-N-Spenders," despite the obvious historical fact that Republicans have repeatedly almost ruined the American economy.
Recommended Redefinition:  The man was a fucking Felon, okay?  "Elder Statesman," my liberal, hairy ass.  Also,  Nixon was a total asshole.

Some people wear their evil on the outside.

Fucking Liar #4: Ronald Reagan.
Backstory [via: Wikipedia]: "As president, Reagan implemented sweeping new political and economic initiatives. His supply-side economic policies, dubbed 'Reaganomics', advocated reduced business regulation, controlling inflation, reducing growth in government spending, and spurring economic growth through tax cuts. In his first term he survived an assassination attempt, took a hard line against labor unions, and ordered military actions in Grenada. He was reelected in a landslide in 1984, proclaiming it was 'Morning in America'. His second term was primarily marked by foreign matters, namely the ending of the Cold War, the bombing of Libya, and the revelation of the Iran-Contra affair."
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: Here, we get at the meat.  This guy is like Jesus to your conservative mind.  Or at least he would be if Jesus wasn't Jesus.  Heralded as the Big-Timey champion of lower taxes and smaller government, the facts support otherwise..
The Reality: Taxes for the vast majority of Americans and the size and scope of the federal government actually rose under Reagan's dopey-brained "stewardship" over the American economy.  Rampant deficit spending and shifting of the tax burdens to the middle and working classes are widely viewed as being the impetous for the financial meltdown of the late 80's/Early 90's, a downturn not reversed until the Clinton Administration.  Also, here we have another sitting U.S. President subverting the constitution.  Trading arms for hostages and selling illegal weapons to terrorists went in direct opposition to federal law and the separation of the branches of government, funding an illegal war in Nicaragua.
The Result: Under Reagan/Bush/Bush?  Deficits, the size of government, and taxes on the middle-class all rose precipitously.  Under Democrats, all three of these indicators fell, leading to largest peace time expansion of the American economy in history.  Yet, it's the liberals who tax and spend.  See?  Bunch of fucking liars.
Recommended Redefinition:  The idiot, off-his-nut grandpa of American Presidents who likely just played with Tinker Toys while the Poindexters and Rumsfelds and Bushes of the world ran roughshod over the economy, the constitution, bankrupting the morality of the country in the process.

Ronnie, telling us all what he really
thinks of the constitution.

Fucking Liar #5: Newt Gingrich.
Backstory [via: Wikipedia]: "Newton Leroy 'Newt' Gingrich (born Newton Leroy McPherson; June 17, 1943) is an American politician who served as the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives from 1995 to 1999. In 1995, Time magazine selected him as the Person of the Year for his role in leading the Republican Revolution in the House, ending 40 years of the Democratic Party being in the majority. During his tenure as Speaker, he represented the public face of the Republican opposition to Bill Clinton."
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: The "Contract for America."  Generally being a combative asshole.  Responsible for the present state of the republican party;  namely, Newtie made it acceptable to stand in the way of progress and change for no other reason than just being a fucking jackass.
The Reality: "On January 21, 1997, the House voted overwhelmingly (395 to 28) to reprimand House Speaker Newt Gingrich for ethics violations dating back to September 1994. The house ordered Gingrich to pay an unprecedented $300,000 penalty, the first time in the House's 208-year history it had disciplined a speaker for ethical wrongdoing."  [Wiki]  Not only is this asshole blatantly corrupt, he divorced his wife while she was recovering from cancer (CLASSY!), then remarried six months later.  After his second divorce, this prick bastard quickly married the tramp with whom he was having an affair while married to his second wife WHILE congress was investigating the Lewinsky scandal involving President Clinton.
The Result: Just turn on FAUX News at any given time:  This is Gingrichs' legacy.  Lying corrupt fucktards trying to ram their bullshit agenda down everyones' throats, demonizing everyone who even thinks about disagreeing with them, violating their own principles the entire time.  In Short:  Your typical Republican.
Recommended Redefinition:  The biggest fatass piece of shit in American History.  Also, the guy's name is "Newton Leroy."  Never forget that.

Corrupt.  Law Breaker.  Heartless Pig.  Adulterer.  Liar.  Hypocrite.  No WONDER Fox News loves this guy.  "Family Values," indeed.

Fucking Liar #6: Donald Rumsfeld.
Backstory [via: Wikipedia]: "A United States businessman and politician who served as the 13th Secretary of Defense under President Gerald Ford from 1975 to 1977 and as the 21st Secretary of Defense under President George W. Bush from 2001 to 2006. He is both the youngest (43 years old) and the oldest (74 years old) person to have served as Secretary of Defense as well as the only person to have served in the position for two non-consecutive terms. Overall, he was the second longest serving defense secretary behind Robert McNamara. Rumsfeld was White House Chief of Staff during part of the Ford Administration and also served in various positions in the Nixon Administration. He served four terms in the United States House of Representatives, and served as the United States Permanent Representative to NATO. He was an aviator in the United States Navy between 1954 and 1957 before transferring to the Naval Reserve. In public life, he has served as an official in numerous federal commissions and councils."
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: This guy presided over some of the evilest shit in American History.  Fuck, Nixon called this guy, "A ruthless little bastard," if that gives you any idea how much of a dick this guy is.  Sec Def, Head of the CIA, and also served as Senior Advisor to President Reagan's Panel on Strategic Systems, the group that masterminded the sale of WMD's to Iraq (the ones Hussein used on his own people, not the ones Rummy and Bush would later make completely the fuck up).
The Reality: From the cover-up of the Kennedy assassination, to Watergate, to Iran Contra, to Bankrolling Hussein, to Propping up Bush II, to the present, illegal Iraq war, Old Donny sure is going to have some serious hell to pay when Karma rolls around.
The Result: Two illegal wars.  Enron.  The financial Meltdown.  Roughly 50 years of pure, unmitigated hate and shitstorm unleashed upon planet Earth.
Recommended Redefinition:  The Anti-Christ.  For REAL.

He's very disappointed in you.

Fucking Liar #7: Sarah Palin.
Backstory [via: Wikipedia]: "American politician, author, speaker, and political commentator who served as the 11th Governor of Alaska from 2006 until her resignation in 2009. She was the Republican nominee for Vice President of the United States in 2008."
Supposed "Conservative" Cred: God only knows.  Folksy one-liners?  Her anti-abortion stance?  Something about Jesus and illegitimate grandchildren?  Who cares?
The Reality: Palin is a self-serving, self-righteous opportunist.  Dumber than a sack of oatmeal, this broad bailed on the People of Alaska and their long-awaited natural gas pipeline effort in order to become Glen Beck's wet motherfucking dream;  thus the nickname, "Bailin' Palin."
The Result: The complete implosion of the Republican party.  Shitloads of hilariously stupid Teabagger placards.  Tina Fey's career.
Recommended Redefinition:  The Dumb Office Betty Who Couldn't.

Keep talking, you dimwit.
PLEASE keep talking.

Yes, there have been shitty liberals, but fucking Marilyn Monroe and sticking a cigar up Monica Lewinsky's snatch hardly compares to essentially turning the United States into the Galactic Empire, now does it?  Not so much, especially when one considers the fact that the above group of evil fuckers did all this in the name of "Liberty" and "God" and "Family Values" and "stopping the socialists from ruining America."  Bunch of anti-education, anti-science, anti-reality retards.

And now, the right wing has become completely unglued and detached from actual facts.  Wrapping themselves in the American Flag, these non-idiots have, in the name of defeating "socialism," now gone out of their way to thwart our sitting president's efforts to wrestle some of the control of the economy out of the hands of a few, evil, republican-run corporations, often invoking our Founding Fathers and the Constitution to support their lies.

Here's a shocker:  Many, if not all of our Founding Fathers supported "providing essential services to the public at large for little or no remuneration. The costs of these services would be shared by the whole. This, by most modern accounts, is 'socialism.'"  [-Mark R. Brown]  Roads, the Post Office, a standing army,  libraries, fire protection, police protection and education are just some of the government services supported by Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Hamilton, Madison, Adams, et al.  Hell, George Washington wanted to establish a National Brewery run by the Federal Government, for Christ's sake.


So, next time you hear these liars talk about "taking our country back" and "Obama the Marxist" and "Our sacred Constitution," know that these people are actually corporate tools who are lying through their fucking teeth.  These people don't want freedom for you, they don't want prosperity for America, they could give a FUCK about "National Security."  All the conservative movement is concerned with is A)  Bamboozling the stupid into believing their bullshit, and, B) Making as much money for their corporate masters as they possibly can.

People see Sarah Palin, and (the intelligent ones among us) think that she is entirely too stupid to ever get elected to the highest office in the land.  Sadly, I think we are mistaken. Allow me to explain.

1) We have all seen what a rabid following she has among the wingnuts. Her popularity continues to grow with these types, and now that she is on Faux Noise with some regularity, she will be in the public eye more and more. Her 15 minutes of fame has been extended into perpetuity.

2) The Supreme(ly conservative-owned/traitorous) Court has made it permissable for corporations to essentially buy elections. And, which corporations have the most money to spend on elections?  (Ooh! Ooh! I know the answer to this one!) That would be big oil, pharma and insurance companies.  How can we forget the war cries of "Drill, baby, drill" and "They want to kill your grannie with Obamacare!"? I think it is pretty safe to assume that these 3 industries are likely to pour significant funds into conservative coffers in 2012.

3) There is an article in the NYT today showing that Wall Street is now investing in the wingnuts.

Thus, the money is going way right, and those of us on the left will be here, shaking our heads and wondering what the fuck just happened?  It will be the exact same reaction I had in 2004 when Dubya was re-elected.  I kept thinking, "People now know what a moron this guy is. The Dem candidate is a shoe-in." Well, we all remember what happened then.

I truly believe that we will all be fucked in the next election, and not in the good way. I am personally wondering how difficult it would be to emigrate to Denmark before then. I wonder if I can learn Danish in 3 years...

The Radical Right is selling T-Shirts, Teddy Bears, and other items that quote Psalm 109:8 which says, " "May his days be few, may another take over his position."  Of course they mean Obama.  The next verse, Psalm 109:9 says, "May his children be orphans and his wife a widow".  Some churches are even praying for Obama's death, and the right wing media admits that they want him to fail-which also means the country will fail.  So much for many so-called Christian Family Values, patriotism, and heeding the wishes of the American electorate.  

There is a core of frightened, crazy, ignorant haters whose limited thought processes actually turn truth around-backwards.  On one political extreme, there is Communism, the Ultra Left Wing-involved in Socialism.  At the other extreme there is Fascism, the Ultra Right Wing, the people that supported the Nazis.  

I am very old--old enough to remember World War Two, and despite the posturing and suppression of real history, the churches really loved Hitler and supported him-although now they deny that fact.  Some of them even helped Nazi War Criminals escape after the war was over!

Inside the USA during the war, CONSERVATIVE German Americans that supported Hitler were put in Internment Camps-just like the Japanese.  LIBERAL German Americans detested these people and devoted their lives to helping American in its war effort.

But now, conservatives are claiming that Liberal Obama is a Fascist-when he is just the opposite.  Of course, with their mixed-up minds, many are also claiming that he is a Communist too.  You just can't be both.  And as far as Socialism goes, we already have it-for corporations only.  

I lost friends in World War Two, some were tortured by the Nazis and one was on a Nazi Death March.  So I don't care much for Nazis and I even thought we had defeated Fascism.  But it now has reared its ugly head again and it has CONSERVATIVE written on its forehead.  The Conservatives are very dangerous because they unaware that they are traitors to America, its fighting men, our heroes, and those that gave up their lives in WWII, plus their never-ending hatred is contrary to their professed religion.  

Can anyone help me define insane hypocrisy?  

For those of you that didn't believe my previous blog about Palin--have you noticed that she isn't going away?  

The Conservatives are going to run this ignorant, idiotic, fanatically religious woman for President in 2012!  That's what all the "End of the World" predictions are about!

Sure, it sounds ridiculous, and most people think no one would seriously consider running her.  But have you looked at the controlling people in the Republican party lately?  They are more than insane enough to do it.  And, if they have to, they'll rig the election!  They've done it before!

My Ouija Board says BEWARE!  

New column appearing in the November 9th edition of the Rocky Mountain Collegian, Colorado's only student-run daily.

Shameless conservatives still exploiting fear and hatred
by Kevin Hollinshead

For all their talk about how Democrats' policies will screw them in 2010 and beyond, conservatives in Congress and the media seem to be shooting themselves in the foot. Two events last week showed how the old Republican political tactic of fear and hate-mongering is still alive and well.

More after the jump...

One year ago, while (some, about 52.5% of) Americans were deep into Obama-mania, democrats were favored on all ten issues the country faced. Now, just a year later and only nine months (!!) into the Obama administration, sickened Americans have shifted decidedly to the right.

Rasmussen Reports, the country's most accurate pollster, shows that on some issues Americans have shifted as much as 27 points to the right. In all ten issues Americans have moved to the right, including democrat stronghold issues such as Abortion, Health Care and Govt Ethics.

On Health Care for example, a year ago democrats had a twenty point advantage, 54% to 34%.  Now, just 9 months into the Obama agenda, Americans have shifted TWENTY SIX POINTS, giving the Republicans a 6% point advantage, 46% to 40%.

On the Economy, a year ago Americans preferred democrats, 51% to 38%, a 13% point advantage. Now, after dealing with Obama for only 9 months, Americans have shifted TWENTY SEVEN percent, giving the republicans a 49% to 35% advantage.

It's like this all throughout the survey. For a detailed analysis and commentary on what all of this means, listen to the second hour of The Jimmy Z Monday Show™ from October 26th.  The truth, as ever, shall set you free.

http://thejimmyzshow.blogspot....

If you're not outraged, then you're clearly not paying attention. I mean, really. Western civilization has denigrated to the point where assholes like Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck are making millions off of suckering the same people who are getting screwed by multinational conglomerates into supporting the policies of said same conglomerates, marijuana is still a schedule one narcotic, and I haven't been laid in over two years.

That's how gay everything has become.

Seriously. When I started my horrible website over a decade ago, I was all ranty and angry about various things, blithely passing my days, eagerly awaiting the end of the world the whole time. Now, more than a decade later, shit has gotten even more twisted and stupid. And yet? Still no armageddon. That's enough to piss a guy completely off.

And rather than us peeps getting us some serious Hope and Change action, shit just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. And the nonsense shows no signs of abating. It's getting to the point where a dude can, in no way, abide this bullshit.

Blah, blah, blah. Your inevitable retort is already boring me to tears, so don't even bother. Much to Mr. Gehring's [My 2nd grade teacher] chagrin, I still don't play well with others, I will never live up to my "potential" (whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean, as if "potential" is some sort of quantifiable resource like pork futures or hitability), and I have what can only be described as a "bad attitude," assuming aforementioned describer is a total dick.

I am in the unfortunate position of being the beneficiary of perhaps one of the finest educations ever offered in the history of Western Civilization. Me, and everyone with whom I "grew up." In 1975, when I entered the educational system, the sky was the limit, dude. All options were on the table. All one had to do was to put forth the proper amount of effort and "gumption," and everything was supposed to work out just fucking fine.

I mean, we all got college degrees, dude. That was what it was all supposed to take: A B.A. and some serious elbow grease and everything is luxury sedans and a fat benefits package and three weeks paid vacation, and shit. The American Dream. All that.

Tsk. Right. Turns out that excellent education doomed me to a life of fierce independence and rational, critical thought. Whoops. Probably shouldn't have done that.

Whatever, I'm over it. But if there's one thing I'm totally not over, it's this whole rage about the world, thing. I know, I need to grow up.

Tsk. Right.

The 7 Things About Life That
Will Totally Piss Me Off, Forever.

Thing #1: Censorship of language.
Standard Example: You can show the gruesome results of a brutal murder happened upon a corpse on some CSI show, but if Tom Barnard makes an "Indian" joke on air, KQRS gets fined $500 billion dollars by the FCC. Yeah. That's cool.
Sorce of all the Rage: Look, I go out of my way to swear as much as humanly possible, both on my website and in real life - just to prove a point. If you're afraid of mere words, you are clearly afraid of much more than thoughts and ideas which make you "uncomfortable;" namely, people who are afraid of words and ideas are of the same mindset that allowed the Third Reich to even happen. That's right, I said it. I'm looking at you, Christian conservatives. You fucking assholes. Shouldn't you people be out burning books or persecuting single mothers, or something?
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: A free and open exchange of ideas, wherein using terms and phrases like "fags are gross" and "socialism is actually a good thing" doesn't automatically trigger some viral response from the newsies. Nigger faggot jew cunt fuck shit. George Carlin was so fucking right. Shit fuck.
Inevitable End Result: All discourse in America is reduced to hot-button talking points and banal, meaningless jibber-jabber. Ooops. Too late. Okay, I just used the phrase, "jibber-jabber." Maybe censorship isn't such a bad thing? Fuck it. Yes it is.

 

Not Safe For Work.
Totally safe for your innocent children, though.
The little shits.
Any excuse to publish this photo.
Also, FUCK Johnny Cash.

 

 

 

 

 

Thing #2: Rampant stupidity.
Standard Example: Intelligent Design. People who think the Earth is flat. Teabaggers.
Sorce of all the Rage: For fucks' sake, it's nearly 2010. Jesus Christ died and stayed dead, forever, about 2006 years ago. And still, there's this whole crowd of ignorant troglodytes out there calling our president a "Socialist" and a "Nazi" in the same breath. There are people out there who think NASA is a waste of tax dollars. There are millions, millions of people in America who think that everyone does, indeed, love Raymond. My God.
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: An entire population of highly-educated, forward-thinking non-assholes out there engaging in creative arts, scientific study, and generally roaming around and not being total fucktards. I know. Crazy.
Inevitable End Result: The continued expansion of the NASCAR fan base.

 

Dale Earnhardt, on his way to riding with Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thing #3: The "War" on "Drugs."
Standard Example: Whatever Glaxo-Smith-Kline doesn't mass-produce that happens to make life's soul-crushing drudgery slightly less horrifying.
Sorce of all the Rage: I'm smoking menthols and drinking shitty ice beer while I write this, as if that weren't obvious. But if I'm in Nevada, and a State Trooper finds a single seed or pot stem lodged in the nap of the carpet under the passenger seat of my car? I'd be a goddamned felon. Fucking, cunting, ridiculous. USA! USA! USA!.
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: Everyone doing exactly what everyone has been doing since the dawn of time. Human beings have a nearly genetic drive to alter their consciousness. This is obvious. But these censorship-loving, dinosaur-disbelieving, teabagging Palin-lovers love nothing more than to invest in Anheuser-Busch while throwing a bunch of pot smoking hippies in jail for smoking a flower. These assholes are taking Ambien and Viagra the whole time. Ambien and Viagra are DRUGS, by the way.
Inevitable End Result: Enough potheads jonesing hard enough for enough kind bud will, eventually, get off their couches and spark some sort of violent, bloody revolution whereby everyone who wears a tie to work is force-fed LSD and Ex. I can't wait.

 

Is it Meth? Is it Heroin? Is it PCP?
No. It's just a pansy flower.
But according to the federal government, they're all the same narcotic.
USA! USA! USA!

 

 

 

 

  

Thing #4: Anything right-wing, conservative, or republican.
Standard Example: A bunch of stupid, flat-earthing, teabagging assholes unwittingly supporting the very machine which they purport to despise, using misguided patriotism and a false sense of individuality as a justification for their fear of chaos. Bunch of tools.
Sorce of all the Rage: For about a century, "liberals" have been rallying against government intrusion in private lives, the trampling of freedoms, and the right for every American to live his or her life according to one's own standards and morals. And now these cocksuckers have co-opted all of that in the name of Rupert Murdoch's well-paid henchmen and all their ridiculous fabrications. Because they're fucking stupid. Stupid, angry assholes.
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: Do unto others. Share what you don't absolutely need. Go out of your way to be nice for other people. Jesus, what am I? Some sort of America-hating communis? I misspelled that intentionally.
Inevitable End Result: Yet more witch hunts and McCarthyism. Another inquisition. Me punching Glen Beck in the fucking neck and sweeping his knees and becoming America's next revolutionary hero. It's just a matter of time, people. Come to Fairbanks, Mr. Beck, and I will (proverbially) kick your (hypothetical) fucking ass. I'll do 3-to-5 for aggravated assault. No fucking problem. I'm going to die by then anyway. Might as well go out in style.

 

These people need death panels.
DRACONIAN death panels.
Because we all remember how awful
all those Soviet Czars were.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thing #5: Michael Moore.
Standard Example: Standing somewhere with a bullhorn, making a complete fool of himself.
Sorce of all the Rage: Look, this guy used to be one of my heroes. But now? He's just a big, fat, whiny douche. He used to be a great voice for liberal, anti-corporate rage. Then he doubled-back on himself and is now Britt Hume's wet motherfucking dream. Michael Moore is now the poster boy for everything wrong with the Left. Bunch of whiny, crybaby idiots. Man, do I miss Paul Wellstone. We all do. Damn.
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: George Carlin's reanimated corpse. We should be so lucky. It's time for human cloning, people. Our lives are much less rich without the man. Again, damn.
Inevitable End Result: Glen Beck will cite Michael Moore's new movie as proof that Obama is a socialist and that America is going down the tubes (no, not the Ted Stevens' tubes) and something something about Boncentration Bamps. Blah, blah, motherfucking blah. Please kill me.

 

Oh, fucking hang it up, already.
Jesus. Way to play into their hands, asshole!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thing #6: Class Disparity.
Standard Example: It has been well-known for years and years that one percent of the population controls 95 percent of the wealth in this country. And that ratio isn't exactly improving anytime soon, if you can dig that crazy shit.
Sorce of all the Rage: All of us work ourselves to the motherfucking bone, with pride, because we're Americans. And we are all badass motherfuckers. Meanwhile, there is this tiny, tiny class of people who live in this cartoonish universe of opulence never before seen in the history of human civilization. But as soon as we complain, Bill O'Rielly and Strom Thurmond's reanimated corpse start crying "CLASS WARFARE!" like a bunch of spoon-fed pussies. As if "class warfare" is a bad thing. I mean, really.
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: Once you're set for life? You then set out doing nothing but sharing your wealth and helping others and otherwise going out of your way to alleviate suffering. Again, I know, crazy talk.
Inevitable End Result: Up against the wall, you rich, corporate, motherfucker.

 

This Haliburton Executive has never got a bonus
for securing an unbidded, billion-dollar contract in Iraq.
He's totally against "socialized health care," by the way.
USA! USA! USA!

 

 

 

 

 

Thing #7: Politics in general.
Standard Example: Do I really need to explain this? If so, stop reading my website, forever.
Sorce of all the Rage: Okay, I'm as tolerant and as hippie/commie/liberal as they come. Trust me. You don't want to know what I really think. I would, for certain, shock you with what I truly, honestly believe. But I LOVE guns. I'm all for open carry. I'm a huge fan of a virtually powerless central government. I'm all for States' Rights. But I'm also all about the EPA, what with rivers on fire and Union Carbide and Dow Chemical, and shit. If you're on your own property and are harming nobody else? You should be able to do whatever the fuck you want. Wait. Isn't that what "conservatives" are supposed to aspouse? Oops. What if I'm an abortionist on private land? And my state happens to have loose abortion laws. NOW the Federal gubbmint is supposed to step in, right, Glen Beck? Ooops. So much for States' rights. And what if two gay people own property and engage in man-love in the privacy of their own homes? Is this where gubbmint-enforced morality comes into play again? Two men snuggling absolutely turns my stomach, but I'm all for their right to marry one another. So, am I a "liberal" or a "conservative?" See how fucking stupid and simplistic all this shit is? FOX News? Lick my motherfucking BALLS, you ignorant, corporate schills. Also? Fuck motherfucking you, you shithead cunting assholes (SEE: Thing #1, above). The same goes for CNN, by the way.
Hippie Utopian Equivalent: Nobody giving a shit, living and letting others live, and occasionally smoking a big, fat doobie, every 90 minutes, because in my "Hippie Utopian Equivalent?" Pot smoking would be mandatory. Failure to smoke weed should be a crime punishable by death. Death by cigarette smoking and lack of universal health care.
Inevitable End Result: Death Race 2010, except this time for real. Match #1? Michelle Obama VS. Sarah Palin, fighting to the death with cheese graters, sponsored by General Dynamics, of course.

 

Not Red States, nor Blue States. Purple States.
Sköl VIKINGS!

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, so, okay. I have a "bad attitude." Fucking sue me. Now, you just go ahead and take a trip to the grocery warehouse and then drive all the way back home and then take your fucking blood pressure and tell me thoughts of homicidal rampages never entered your brain the whole time. Without lying. Liar. You should hear what I really think.

(Hmm.... well, we admit, parts of this delight us, and parts of this frighten us, but... hey, it's generating a lot of comments here, so clearly there's interest in discussing it.  We'll let you folks be the judge whether it's "hot" or "not."   - promoted by leftake)

Okay, you common-sense-challenged fucktards, the gloves are officially off. Whatever makes these angry, pathetic "morans" even angrier? I'm all for it. I want to see transgendered lesbians fucking in the streets. Gay marriage? Bring it on. I am now a supporter of mandatory, compulsary abortions, funded exclusively by the tax dollars of avowed Baptists. Death panels? I'll take two, thank you very much.

Now, while it may seem, on the surface, that I actually give a shit about something, here, the truth of the matter is quite the opposite of such. Honestly? I could care fucking less. Neither could any of the other 99.98% of the rest of the otherwise reasonable people out there.

But, still. With these tinfoil-industry-supporting nutjobs who seem to have a public voice, for some strange reason, something's got to give. And that something is clearly my sanity. Whatever makes Dick Cheney cry, man. I'm a HUGE fan of it. I bring you:

The Six Reasons Why
I Just Don't Fucking Care About Politics Anymore
(but I'm nonetheless still filled with rage):

A handy, 6-step template for refuting anything Obama, or anyone on the left, says or does.

We here at the RNC, now that we have the Administration fully on their heels, know that you, fellow conservatives, have your hands' full disagreeing with everything possible.  Using the hypothetical headline, "Obama Declares 10/14/2009 'National Puppy Day,'" the following can be used as a blueprint for discrediting these Godless Communists.

Obama Declares October 14th, "National Puppy Day"

1.  Begin with righteous indignation:

Be sure to get the blood boiling right off the bat by invoking several emotional, vitriolic references.  Mention Nazi Germany, Socialism, taxes, and the 9/11 terrorist attacks as much as possible.  Extra points for snide innuendo and poorly-masked sarcasm!

EXAMPLE:  As I sit here thinking of that horrible day for America - literally the greatest tragedy in human history - when those who hate America tried to take away our freedoms, I have to ask, "Are puppies making us safer?"  Thanks, Mr. President, for having the taxpayer's freedom and safety in mind...by praising puppies!

2.  Insert vague, tenuous historical comparison:

No distortion of "the facts" (as the liberal media would want you to think of them, anyway) is out of bounds.  If it's something Joe Sixpack might sort-of remember from Junior High History class, or if it's something Jenny Soccermom might have overheard being discussed while at her hairdresser, you've found refutation gold!

EXAMPLE:  You know who else likes puppies, Mr. Sorento?  Michael Vick.  That's Who.  Coronel Klink loved those German Shepherds, didn't he?  And look what happened to Bob Crane!  You should be afraid, America, history is repeating itself!

3.  Inflame further with thinly-veiled call for violence and unmasked allusion to "blackness."  Use the quotation-fingers gesture as much as possible:

EXAMPLE:  So, our President and Michael Vick are both "Puppy Supporters."  Don't you see, America?  "These People" are trying to destroy our "way of life" and "our values."  It's time for all "patriots" to "rise up" and "do something" about it.

4.  Make something up:

Time to stick the knife in and twist it.  Nothing gets a liberal to concede a debate faster than forcing them to respond to outrageous claims and ridiculous fabrications.  Everything is on the table.  Remember, the idea here is to redefine the argument and distract people from the so-called "real problems," (that liberal media, again).

EXAPMLE:  There was a man who also loved puppies.  He started by loving puppies, and then he killed Patty Hearst.  That man's name is Charles Manson, and the Administration has reportedly been in close contact with Manson on such issues as raising your taxes and giving all American babies The Gay.

5.  Issue talking points through the usual channels:

Be sure to recommend to Mr. Limbaugh and Mr. Beck, et. al., that they elude to the story in question days before they break the actual story.  In this fashion, our Point Men can claim clairvoyance when the time comes to inform the public of the latest Socialist Ploy.

EXAPMPLE:  First, Limbaugh refers to the president as, "Dawg" in a snarky tone of voice.  The next day O'Reilly calls Nancy Pelosi, "Obama's Lap Dog."  On day three, Beck refers to welfare recipients as, "Puppies suckling off the taxpayer's tit," while Palin claims, "America is going to the dogs" on Twitter.  THEN the "Puppy" story "breaks."  Natch!

6.  The RNC Mad Lib Wrap-Up:

Simply fill-in the blanks within the following sentence:

"Why is Obama wasting_____A_____on____B____when he could be____C____?!"

EXAMPLE:
For Blank "A:"  Time, Tax Dollars, Government Resources
For Blank "B:"  Puppies, Meaningless National Holidays, Healthcare Reform
For Blank "C:"  Dealing With Afghanistan, Cutting Taxes for the Rich, Saving Kittens

Realize that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is now coming to the fore, Iran needs a good invading, and these leftist pinkos are going to probably want to legalize drugs sometime soon.

When these and other issues come up, consider this easily-malleable format a time saver so you aren't distracted from our true goals:  Deregulating industry, giving our donors the opportunity to rake in trillions of dollars, invading sovereign nations so our cronies can get multi-billion-dollar, unbidded contracts in oil-rich regions, and making America into the Theocracy that we all know She can be.  Good "hunting," people!

Not too long ago, I was with a friend and we came upon a little protest.  As I checked out what the protest was about, I was dumbfounded.  The protest itself was about, well, anything that was not conservative.  I live in the south in a rather small town.  I will not say where but do know that the headquarters of the Church of God is here.  Let it be known that I never tell a lie.

Upon seeing these signs and what these individuals were saying, I was aghast and disgusted but can only attribute the event as a triumph to the first amendment, regardless of how distasteful or hate-filled I found the words to be.  My friend left, feeling a little nervous as she is African American and was not in the mood for an old-fashioned lynching.

Some of the signs were funny in an ironic way.  Others were funny in a "Wow, I hope you're sterile." way.  One sign said "The White House ain't KFC!"  I told the woman that African Americans prefer Church's Chicken and Popeyes.  Her husband yelled "The White House ain't the Waffle House!"  "Sir, The Waffle House generally caters to lower-income whites.  Try again."  "Ma'am, fascism and socialism are on the opposite ends of the political spectrum.  I think you need a new sign."

Signs and slogans such as these were too common.  Racist, homophobic, sexist, they were all the same to me.  Worst of all, many were just plain stupid.  If you are going to protest, do a little research.  The USSR lacked czars.  They were toppled during the Russian Revolution.  Sorry!

Lucky for me, I was near a store.  I purchased some markers, some poster boards and a yard stick.  You could say that I was in a "sign making mood."   Generally, I'm the nicest guy ever.  I am sarcastic and self-deprecating but very nice.  However, a line was crossed and I decided to use my freedom of speech as well.  A few of my signs read "I like dick!"  "If you're over 65, have Medicare and are protesting socialized medicine, go home!  You have it!"  "Do any of you even have healthcare?"  "I would be dead without public healthcare!'

My signs were not that popular.  I took my beanie off and many saw the scars on my head and that part of my skull was missing. (due to an infection post-surgery)  "Oh look, another freak-of-nature liberal!"  "Sorry sunshine, I am a socialist." I quipped.

Everything was going smoothly.  Insults were being hurled at me, I was hurling them back along with corrections to their misinformation.  This went on a few minutes until someone called me two words I detest: a faggot retard.  I'll let the "faggot" slide as I did have a sign that said "I like dick." but retard?  Unforgivable.  I never use the r-bomb.  Luckily, a woman walked up and said 'Listen here, Cooter Brown, my son has Down's Syndrome.  How dare you." and punched him.

Feeling overwhelming satisfaction, I left.  I did forget to ask these people one question: what did the original tea party stand for?  I know the answer.  Do they?

Back story:  A little over a year ago, I was scooped up from school in New Orleans by my parents and taken to Tennessee.  Two to three weeks later, I had a neurosurgery and a quarter of my brain mass removed.  As it would turn out, I have an anaplastic astrocytoma-a grade three brain tumor.  Even before this was found, there were signs but none were recognized.  I may have had mood changes.  It would have gone unnoticed as I'm bipolar.  I suffer from migraines.  Any red flags went unnoticed until I came down with meningitis.  The doctor at the hospital performed a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) WITHOUT a cat scan.  It's a miracle that I didn't die right then due to inter-cranial pressure and the sucking of my brain down my spinal cord.  Yes, this happens.  For weeks, i suffered from post-lumbar syndrome: constant headaches and migraines.  I could hardly function.  I went to the emergency room maybe six or seven times.  I finally went to another hospital and they decided to run an MRI and the mass, the tumor, was found, and I was sent home.  

My insurance company paid for a good 30% of this. They decided to not pay for most of the imaging, non of the emergency room stays and none of the doctor bills.  Needless to say, I won't be returning to any of those hospitals.  We've consulted a lawyer and he said as long as I do not return to the hospitals, I will be okay.

After the tumor was removed, I lost half my sight.  I have no left field vision.  I am currently on disability and luckily, managed to get put on TennCare, Tennessee's state healthcare option.  For every surgery that I have had, they have paid for.  I have had a total of five surgeries (tumor removal, MRSA infection and bone flap removal, plate insertion, MRSA infection, bone flap removal).  I have had radiation and continue chemotherapy.

Without TennCare, I would have died.  My old insurance companies have put up fights against my chemotherapies, radiation, everything.  The only problem with TennCare is even though it is state-funded, it is still through the insurance companies.  I have to fight them every month and they have to decide if I "need" that dose of chemotherapy.  According to two oncologists, I do.

My dad, frustrated at the "liberals in Washington" and blames all of this on Obama.  Did I mention that Obama had nothing to do with this?  My father has Medicare, another form of "socialized medicine" which gets him the medicine he needs.

Living with a Glenn Beck wannabe can be very tiring.  

The point of my rant: state-run healthcare has saved my life and continues to save my life.  Without it, I would have died.  If I already had a nationalized version, I wouldn't have to avoid New Orleans.  I hope we can get a public version through Congress.  I pray that we can.

While rational people make fun of poor dumb Sarah, The crazy conservatives are planning to elect her as the first woman president!  They have and will continue to push her into visiting foreign countries--so she can then claim "international experience".  

Backed by the most insane people in our country, she will be a formidable opponent of reality and intelligence in the future.  We should not laugh or turn our backs on such a future power!

By G.A. Afolabi

As I mentioned in a previous article, we are watching the slow death of the Republican party. In medical parlance, right now the GOP is in the last stages of death. Republicans have officially lost it. There views are so out of this world, you might as well ask Optimus Prime for political advice.

Barack Obama's election, has infuriated conservative, white males who believed that they were going to be in power forever. Actually, they not only believed this, they also demanded it. Consider their virulent objection to the concept of affirmative action, even though the legacy system, which lowers the bar for children of wealthy alumni, has been benefited slackers like George W. Bush and John McCain for years.

http://gaafolabi30.blogspot.co...

I am SO tired of President Obama and the dominant Democratic Legislature whimpering, whining and giving

I'll admit first off, my wifes' family are of a conservative background.  Family get togethers are pleasant occasions, except when the subject of politics is brought up.  Therefore an unspoken rule is established: We do not discuss politics.  And when I met my wife she was of the same close minded conservative way of thinking.  She soon realized the error of her ways and has seen fit to change how she views politics.
Back on track, after riding in the car with my father-in-law, he was tuned to Rush Limbaugh as he does faithfully everyday, and I could not help but roll my eyes everytime that man spoke.  Which if you have ever had the displeasure of listening to Rush, you would know that my eyes could'nt sit still during the orgy of rolling they were encountering.  Everytime Rush opened his mouth, my father-in-law would utter, "That's Right", or "Friggin' Liberals" (I chose the word "Friggin' just to keep it nice on here).  From listening to Rush talk about how President Obama has a "Messiah Complex", I've realized that Rush is the one with this problem.  Everything that came out of his mouth was "I predicted this", just generally self loving himself.  He seems to think that he is God.  I'm just wondering anyone else has noticed this?