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(damn good post by our own Pardu. - promoted by faultguy)
As the nation moves towards a historic national embarrassment and disgrace perpetrated by Glenn Beck, the Koch Brothers, Sarah Palin and their minions, I thought it appropriate to ask a rhetorical question. A question that is being asked by many in the media and by many Americans who view the cacophony of discourse from the Far Right as behavior counter to the principles, values, mores and cognitive integrity of people who are denizens of a 'great society'.
How does the strategic invasion of a sacred day and sacred act for many Americans become a day for 'restoring our honor' as a nation? Even if one refuses to accept the healing significance of Dr. Martin Luther King's (MLK's) 'I have a Dream Speech' on the nation circa the 1960's, one has to acknowledge the significance of the international award of MLK's Nobel Peace Prize. How is it possible to ignore the blatant 'code' associated with Beck's planning? How I can one not view the pending gathering as other than an effort to self-promote (Beck), foster discord among US citizens, and advance a political agenda (despite Beck's claims that the event is not a political event). How about the lack of courage to just say "Yeah, I scheduled it on that day and here are the reasons"? (HONOR)
"To restore the nation's honor"? As I consider the following, I sit in stupefied wonderment the extent to which the Far Right has aspired to reaching for deeper and deeper levels of an abyss. The state of wonderment is only surpassed by reflection of a common phrase employed by many on the RIGHT: Drinking the Kool-Aid.
The Kool-Aid as sustenance for a return to 'honor'.
I always try to not go to bed angry. It makes for a lousy sleep. After all the rhetoric, and fear, and cheap shots, and death panel talk,name calling,accusations, I had just about had enough.
So last night,what do my wondering eyes should appear?? Jon Stewart and one of the funniest pieces of satire I think I have ever seen. So start off your Friday, with a good laugh, and have a great day one and all!!!
Republicans are becoming a rare breed, these days. Since the right wing has been completely hijacked by extremist thugs from the fringes of sanity, otherwise reasonable people have been fleeing the Party in droves. So as a service to you, we here at RememberancientWeb.com have compiled a compilation of common misrepresentations representative of your average Republican asshole.
Not satisfied with mere douchebaggery, today's Republican has taken rage-induced paranoia and intolerance to unprecedented levels of scary and insane. The trouble in picking-out the Republicans from a crowd of your average mouth-breathing morons lies in the fact that these people now seem to be speaking in code - effectively lying their way through various talking points in an effort to obfuscate their own foolishness.
So, in order to avoid shooting our wad too early (a typical Republican habit) and blow the whole joke, without further ado we give you:
Six Concrete Examples of how Republicans Routinely Lie Through Their Fucking Teeth:
Stated Belief: The U.S. Constitution is as Sacred as Scripture and is to be interpreted in an equally fundamental, literal fashion. Standard Party Line: "These liberals won't rest until they take away our Constitutional rights!" Hypocricy Involved: This line of bullshit immediately goes out the window as soon as some cop pulls-over a hippie for driving 40 miles an hour in a 65 MPH zone. Unreasonable search and seizure is just fine for potheads, evidently. Also, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." only applies to non-Southern Baptists, as far as Republicans are concerned. Historic Relevance: Since the First Continental Congress, conservatives have routinely mistaken the concept of "freedom" with the concept of "ruling-class privilege." This All Speaks To: "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."
See that Flag? That means she's telling "The Truth."
Stated Belief: So-called "States' Rights" supersede Federal authority. Standard Party Line: "I believe in states' rights ... I believe we have distorted the balance of our government today by giving powers that were never intended to be given in the Constitution to that federal establishment." [Ronald Reagan, August 3, 1980] Hypocricy Involved: If we're talking about enforcing the ridiculous classification of marijuana as a schedule-one narcotic or the Federal drinking age requirement, then fuck States' Rights. But when we start talking about the EPA or about restricting access to abortion, then Rush Limbaugh is all about a weak central government. Historic Relevance: The obvious answer is that these people still believe that the Southern Succession was not a treasonous, illegal act. This All Speaks To: In the South, they don't call it the "Civil War," they call it "The Occupation." Just another example of how Republicans tend to pick and choose their philosophy to fit the moment.
Again, with the flags. Bunch of lying Bigots.
Stated Belief: Unwavering belief in "Free Market Capitalism." Standard Party Line: "The Bible mandates free market capitalism. It is anti-socialist." We don't know, we just found this on the internet somewhere. It doesn't matter who or when, it pretty much sums everything up. Hypocricy Involved: Billions of dollars worth of unbidded contracts awarded to Halliburton in Iraq shortly after the (then) Vice President served as the CEO of said Halliburton Energy Services. You'll never hear Bill O'Reilly complain about this corrupt bullshit. But food stamps for starving babies? Pure evil. Historic Relevance: Actually, the United States has been a blend of private and public enterprise since its' inception. Anyone who tells you otherwise is blowing smoke up your ass. This All Speaks To: A bunch of rich fuckers using semantic gymnastics (READ: Lying through their fucking teeth) in order to distract you from the fact that they are robbing you blind.
"Trickle Down" economics at work.
Stated Belief: Unwavering fear of "Socialism." Standard Party Line: "We are a country that is headed towards socialism, totalitarianism, beyond your wildest imagination." Just guess which rocket scientist said that. Hypocricy Involved: Until these fucktards start applying their wafer-thin "socialism" argument to entities like General Dynamics, Chrysler (the first bailout, the one REAGAN did), and the U.S. Army, they can all just shut the fuck up. Historic Relevance: We are pretty sure what these idiots are so afraid of is actually "Communism." See what happens when the Reagan administration forces drastic cuts in education spending? This All Speaks To: A total lack of critical thinking. Speaking of which...
Stated Belief: Near religious support for Religion itself. Standard Party Line: "One Nation, under GOD..." Hypocricy Involved: We get our "God" from this wonderful little green plant that we like to smoke. Guess who would object, in the violentest possible way, if we were to put a statue of a pot plant on government property. Historic Relevance: Actually, "Prayer is the last refuge of a scoundrel." Ever since Jesus Christ achieved (mortal) transcendence, assholes like Pat Robertson have been raping his name to further their own quest for power and influence. This All Speaks To: Again, that whole "critical thinking" thing. Also, this is a harsh, uncaring universe, and bad things happen to good people. Republicans are notoriously terrified of this undeniable fact and tend to use this God character as a crutch.
NOT PICTURED: God. Because there is no such thing.
Stated Belief: We are a Nation of Laws. Standard Party Line: "We've taken a side and that's for the rule of law, for the republic, for the Constitution." Again, guess which non-lunatic is lying. Again. Hypocricy Involved: Oh, the name Oliver North comes to mind. Then there's the issue of torturing people in violation of both the Geneva Conventions and Federal Law. The whole Iraq War II deal was pretty much illegal. We could go on... Historic Relevance: Anyone remember Nixon? Ted Stevens? This All Speaks To: None of this has anything whatsoever to do with the Kennedy assassinations.
"We can't recall" if this guy is a fucking liar, or not.
So, basically, everything every Republican says is a fucking lie. Either it's Sarah Palin completely making shit up about "death panels," or it's Glenn Beck insinuating that the TARP bailout was instigated by the Obama administration. Fiscal conservatism and smaller government? Under Bush we went from a $128 billion dollar budget surplus to a $1.4 billion dollar deficit, and we got the DHS out of the deal, the largest government expansion in 50 years.
Remember, Climate Change is a totalitarian conspiracy and Obama is a Nazi, racist, Socialist, Czar-lover. Liberals are all tax-n-spenders and want to take your guns, the health care reform effort is an attempt to take over the private lives of citizens, and greed is good.
A handy, 6-step template for refuting anything Obama, or anyone on the left, says or does.
We here at the RNC, now that we have the Administration fully on their heels, know that you, fellow conservatives, have your hands' full disagreeing with everything possible. Using the hypothetical headline, "Obama Declares 10/14/2009 'National Puppy Day,'" the following can be used as a blueprint for discrediting these Godless Communists.
Obama Declares October 14th, "National Puppy Day"
1. Begin with righteous indignation:
Be sure to get the blood boiling right off the bat by invoking several emotional, vitriolic references. Mention Nazi Germany, Socialism, taxes, and the 9/11 terrorist attacks as much as possible. Extra points for snide innuendo and poorly-masked sarcasm!
EXAMPLE: As I sit here thinking of that horrible day for America - literally the greatest tragedy in human history - when those who hate America tried to take away our freedoms, I have to ask, "Are puppies making us safer?" Thanks, Mr. President, for having the taxpayer's freedom and safety in mind...by praising puppies!
2. Insert vague, tenuous historical comparison:
No distortion of "the facts" (as the liberal media would want you to think of them, anyway) is out of bounds. If it's something Joe Sixpack might sort-of remember from Junior High History class, or if it's something Jenny Soccermom might have overheard being discussed while at her hairdresser, you've found refutation gold!
EXAMPLE: You know who else likes puppies, Mr. Sorento? Michael Vick. That's Who. Coronel Klink loved those German Shepherds, didn't he? And look what happened to Bob Crane! You should be afraid, America, history is repeating itself!
3. Inflame further with thinly-veiled call for violence and unmasked allusion to "blackness." Use the quotation-fingers gesture as much as possible:
EXAMPLE: So, our President and Michael Vick are both "Puppy Supporters." Don't you see, America? "These People" are trying to destroy our "way of life" and "our values." It's time for all "patriots" to "rise up" and "do something" about it.
4. Make something up:
Time to stick the knife in and twist it. Nothing gets a liberal to concede a debate faster than forcing them to respond to outrageous claims and ridiculous fabrications. Everything is on the table. Remember, the idea here is to redefine the argument and distract people from the so-called "real problems," (that liberal media, again).
EXAPMLE: There was a man who also loved puppies. He started by loving puppies, and then he killed Patty Hearst. That man's name is Charles Manson, and the Administration has reportedly been in close contact with Manson on such issues as raising your taxes and giving all American babies The Gay.
5. Issue talking points through the usual channels:
Be sure to recommend to Mr. Limbaugh and Mr. Beck, et. al., that they elude to the story in question days before they break the actual story. In this fashion, our Point Men can claim clairvoyance when the time comes to inform the public of the latest Socialist Ploy.
EXAPMPLE: First, Limbaugh refers to the president as, "Dawg" in a snarky tone of voice. The next day O'Reilly calls Nancy Pelosi, "Obama's Lap Dog." On day three, Beck refers to welfare recipients as, "Puppies suckling off the taxpayer's tit," while Palin claims, "America is going to the dogs" on Twitter. THEN the "Puppy" story "breaks." Natch!
6. The RNC Mad Lib Wrap-Up:
Simply fill-in the blanks within the following sentence:
"Why is Obama wasting_____A_____on____B____when he could be____C____?!"
EXAMPLE: For Blank "A:" Time, Tax Dollars, Government Resources For Blank "B:" Puppies, Meaningless National Holidays, Healthcare Reform For Blank "C:" Dealing With Afghanistan, Cutting Taxes for the Rich, Saving Kittens
Realize that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is now coming to the fore, Iran needs a good invading, and these leftist pinkos are going to probably want to legalize drugs sometime soon.
When these and other issues come up, consider this easily-malleable format a time saver so you aren't distracted from our true goals: Deregulating industry, giving our donors the opportunity to rake in trillions of dollars, invading sovereign nations so our cronies can get multi-billion-dollar, unbidded contracts in oil-rich regions, and making America into the Theocracy that we all know She can be. Good "hunting," people!
I'm sure many people are already aware of these two videos, but I feel the need to bring them up every now and again because they make me laugh. Then they make me nauseous.
If it were up to me, I would officially place Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity in leadership positions within the National Republican Party Committee. But then again, I'm a Democrat.
